Fellowship of the Broken

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Out of the depths I cry to you, Lord;
   Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
    to my cry for mercy.

If you, Lord, kept a record of sins,
    Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness,
    so that we can, with reverence, serve you.

I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits,
    and in his word I put my hope.
I wait for the Lord
    more than watchmen wait for the morning,
    more than watchmen wait for the morning.

Israel, put your hope in the Lord,
    for with the Lord is unfailing love
    and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
    from all their sins.

Pslam 130.

With all my heart I desire for the day I bow before the almighty God. He saved me from the darkness and the traps of this world. My love for God grows the more time I spend with his Word, but still it is a constant struggle to do which is right, and reject what is wrong. But over time I have found that the ease in which I choose to do right becomes greater. And this is not of my own power but the power of the one who saved me, that is Christ. But every day I fail to live up to his standard. Though my conscience is clear because I know he has forgiven me. Colossians 2:14…’having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross’.

And though my mind is clear, my heart can easily grow weary. My knowledge of things inevitable to come can fill me with doubt and despair. My heart aches with the anguish surrounding the world. And with every smile there is a hint of sadness. With every laugh there is the anticipation of a frown. With a time of peace, the probability of war. After every gathering, there is solitude. With every birth, a death. When I see the beauty of nature, I fear a time when I may not see it. I wrestle with God and his commands. My heart and my head divide over the smallest things. My anxiety is draining. My mind races with doubt. But like a steady father is to a lost child, he is faithful. He has not failed me once. He saved me when I was in my darkest time, and raises me up even now when I fall. Again and again. 

The church is the fellowship of the broken. With humility we see that we are full of sin. We are desperate for redemption. We cry for help, but where do we turn? Too often we put on a face to protect our pain, dare we be seen as weak. But through the revealing of our brokenness and our openness to admit our need for change, we can find the one who will wash away every pain and fill us with hope. And we change together, through community and mutual upbuilding. That is the beauty of the church.

And I know in this life we will suffer. We will love. We will hurt. We will be certain, and we will doubt. We will laugh and we will cry. But through our dance with joy and suffering, what is to come will be greater than our minds can fathom. He has forgiven all our sins because his love is unfailing and with him is full redemption. And by faith alone we are saved through Christ. The God who was and is and is to come, will soon wipe away every tear and make old things anew.